Presenting

Scholar. Legend. Person with a paper tomorrow.

Paper 0 Introductions Time allowed: 3 minutes

Hi Swabbie.

I am Bless. This is me saying hello the long way.

NOT EXAMINABLE
Question 1[0 marks]

Who is Bless, and why is this on your screen the night before a paper?

Someone who could have typed "hi" like a normal person and chose to write a whole page of code instead.

I heard you have a paper tomorrow. So I will make you laugh a little and then send you straight back to your notes.

Question 2[8 memes]

Describe, using examples, the night before a paper.

Dog sitting calmly in a burning room Paper is tomorrow This is fine
Exhibit A. You, right now.
Boromir explaining something very seriously One does not simply Read the whole course in one night
Exhibit B. And yet here we are.
Drake refusing one thing and approving another Sleeping early so the brain works "One more chapter" at 2am
Exhibit C. Do not be Drake.
Meme man panicking, calming down, then panicking again Paper is tomorrow It is only four topics Each topic is 90 slides
Exhibit D. A journey in three parts.
Fry from Futurama squinting with suspicion Not sure if I understand it Or just memorised the slides
Exhibit E. Both count tomorrow.
Spongebob bent over, mocking someone "I will just wake up early and read" "i WiLL jUsT wAkE uP eArLy aNd ReAd"
Exhibit F. Your alarm, at 5am.
Skeleton sitting on a bench, still waiting Me waiting for The motivation to study
Exhibit G. Any minute now.
Older man smiling through obvious pain When someone asks "How far with revision?"
Exhibit H. I will not ask.
Question 3[pick one]

How is the reading going? Be honest.

Question 4[6 memes]

Predict, with reasons, what will happen inside the exam room.

Pikachu with a shocked open mouth Lecturer: this topic is very important.
Me: skips it.
Paper: question one is that topic.
Me:
Exhibit I. Nobody saw it coming.
Woman yelling at a confused white cat sitting at a table "You said you would start reading in week one" Me in week twelve, meeting the course outline
Exhibit J. The cat is innocent.
Monkey puppet looking away awkwardly When the invigilator walks past And your page is still blank
Exhibit K. Just act natural.
Pablo Escobar sitting alone, waiting sadly Waiting for the one topic I read To show up on the paper
Exhibit L. It will come. Section B, probably.
Man tapping his head with a knowing smile Can't run out of time If you start with the question you know
Exhibit M. Real advice, badly disguised.
Martin Scorsese with both hands raised Absolute cinema
Exhibit N. The examiner, reading your script.

That is the whole paper. Pens down.

Read what you can, sleep properly, eat something in the morning. You know more than you think you do.

Leonardo DiCaprio raising a glass To Swabbie Walking out of that room tomorrow
Final exhibit. Saving this one for after.

All the best tomorrow, Swabbie. Tell me how it goes.

Bless

Meme templates borrowed from imgflip. Captions are mine.